Joe,
You most likely don't remember, but I wrote to you over a year ago about the central government shutting down in Puerto Rico because of lack of money. You posted my letter ("How bad does it have to get?") along with your reply. But that doesn't have to do with why I'm writing to you now.
Over the past year I've become increasingly disillusioned with our ridiculous consumer culture to the point of picking useless fights with my parents. They are prime examples of people who overextend themselves buying crap they don't need and then have trouble paying for more important things like food and the mortgage.
My father is a very giving man. I love him dearly for thinking he can give me everything I need, but he doesn't understand that money isn't always available. My mother is more of a realist when it comes to the spending, but she'll still buy me random stuff that I won't use. The stupidest argument we've ever had was when she bought me some underwear and I told her to return it because I already have enough of it not to have to do laundry for a month (this was the same month that there wasn't enough money to pay her rent).
I've talked to my two brothers and at least they are now conscious of our financial status, so they're trying to spend less and take care of more of their expenses, but those expenses are great. It doesn't help that I went to a private university in New York City, which means really big loans and tons of other expenses.
My parents spent a massive amount of money putting me through college. Over the years our house mortgage was refinanced three times. To make matters more complicated, my mother took a job in Wichita, Kansas about a year and a half ago because of downsizing her former employer did back home. Now our family is divided between my mother in Wichita, my father and brothers in Puerto Rico, and me in New York City trying to finish my degree, a degree which I did more for the love of it than for the actual job opportunities it might give me (very little).
As you can see, a big part of my parents' debt is because of me. The responsibility I feel in this holds me back from telling my parents how stupid they're being with their money. Not being able to support myself yet, much less help out with the bills, makes me feel downright useless.
Sometimes I wish I could just move away and have a simpler life, like you are doing now. But before I even think of that I have obligations to fulfill, basically paying off my own loans and maybe helping my parents a bit with their own debt. It pisses me off that we have to be slaves to money in order to live in this society, that we have to be in fear of having a home taken away because we owe money to the bank, that we have to live paycheck by paycheck to afford a lifestyle we've been sold as the "civilized" way of living, something that we deserve. This stupid lifestyle of SUVs, Tivo, and shopping malls full of shit we don't need but are convinced we do pisses me off to the core of my being. What the fuck is wrong with people now, seriously?
If I could spend the rest of my life with enough to eat and read, that would probably be nice.
Alexis
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Alexis,
My young friend, you have beheld the monster. It is impressive that you recognize it for what it is at your age. It takes most people so much longer and by the time they do they are hopelessly mired in the trap. It is very difficult to be moderate in a society that drives its citizens like cattle toward purchasing things they do not need. But I don't need to tell you why capitalism is a disease. You already know too well. Your sense of honor and responsibility is so typical of the Latin Caribbean community Americans know so little of, and in fact, look down upon, even though they themselves are economically enslaved.
As for my simple life in Belize, well, it's easy enough to keep life manageable here, and help some fine folks along the way too. But the problem is that America is a sticky place. To make money I cannot avoid spending more time there than I want. However, the end is hopefully in sight.
Meanwhile, I try to tell people on this village that the American Dream is also a trap. I will show some of my friends here your letter. A genuine human example is always better than a lecture from a fat old gringo.
With the utmost respect for your dignity and insight,
Joe
